dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
