Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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