cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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