I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
