remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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