Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
