Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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