Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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