it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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