I'm drive I can fine osifer
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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