found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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