There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
