dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I did not marry a roomba.
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