I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
