Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
