my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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