K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
