I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
