I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize