where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
