Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
