I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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