My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
