it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
