Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Randomize
