That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
