I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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