I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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