i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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