my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Randomize
