Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
