So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
