Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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