We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
