What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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