Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
