i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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