your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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