I'm going to jail i love you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
