Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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