id be glad to
no you cant smoke seaweed
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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