yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize