It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
whose parrot is this?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
