I smell stomach acid.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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