I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
