you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
