just tell him i said nine months
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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