so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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