Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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