He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
now i know why i became what i already was.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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