i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
