youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
