lets start a swedish sibling band together
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
