I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
