Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
