she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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