Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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