One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
