Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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