I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
