i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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