I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
