I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
