is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize