you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
