U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
