I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
