is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
