dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
