so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
