Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
