She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have already put on my inside pants.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
