I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it penis luge time yet?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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