What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
