I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
