apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
