This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
