you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
