uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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